


caffeine, small talk (wait out the plastic weather)

by Sawadoot



Category: Mo Dao Zu Shi, 陈情令 | The Untamed (TV)
Genre: Being Stupid, Getting Together, M/M, jiang cheng HATES gay people and is gay people in this essay i will
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-07
Updated: 2020-04-07
Packaged: 2021-03-01 20:41:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,504
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23523232
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sawadoot/pseuds/Sawadoot
Summary: If asked, Wei Wuxian would say he knew, that he simply relinquished the honor of firsts before clocking his shiny new brother-in-law upside the head.
Relationships: Lán Zhàn | Lán Wàngjī/Wèi Yīng | Wèi Wúxiàn
Comments: 5
Kudos: 90





	caffeine, small talk (wait out the plastic weather)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [chadleorio](https://archiveofourown.org/users/chadleorio/gifts).



" You're not very good at this."

Amidst piles of paper scraps, scissors awkwardly in hand Wei Ying knows this is true. Still, he feels indignant; it's  _ paper crafts,  _ not artisan sculpting. How hard could it be?

As it turns out, despite his excellency in creating, Wei Wuxian could not cut a line of paper dolls. They're choppy, torn in several places, and resemble nothing like a person. If you squinted, they made pretty cool popcorn balls? 

" Look! It's a chain of  _ clouds,  _ Lan Zhan!" They looked nothing like clouds either. Unless clouds were ugly. Lan Zhan stared them down, unimpressed. 

Wei Ying let out a dramatic groan as he flopped on his back, sticking feet way up in the air similar to how possums play dead before kicking his heels up twice." Why don't  _ you  _ make them?" The question was directed at Lan Zhan, who hadn't bothered to look up." No." He said simply.

" Lame. Is that all you know how to say?"

" No."

Wei Ying's face pulled into a pout, "Way to kill the vibes, dude. We almost had a cute moment." Saying so, he casually shredded his chain of 'clouds' into tiny little pieces, scattering them across the coffee table much to Lan Zhan's visible displeasure. "You're making a mess." The tips of his ears turned red. 

"Yeah, well, someone has to! I make the messes specifically with you in mind; that way, you'll never be bored here." Wei Ying's chin hit the coffee table edge with a soft 'thunk.' "How long do you think Nie Huaisang will be?" He's gotten restless; his leg moved up and down a mile a minute in a steady mantra of impatience. He could never sit still for long, always needing something to stimulate racing thoughts.

"You know how long it takes for him to prepare." Lan Zhan's words accompanied a noise of amusement at their friend's expense. It was true that Nie Huaisang valued his appearance above much else, preferring to waste long hours putting together 'OOTD's and refusing to leave until his makeup was perfectly intact down to the shape of his brows.

Wei Ying responded by throwing himself back-first onto the carpet with a groan. "Ughhhhh! I'm about to leave without him. He takes way too fucki-" A reproachful look. "Way too long! I'm dying; I need to be free; I need the fulfillment of life's experiences to keep me quenched. He's withholding my basic human rights!" Saying this, he quickly scooped up a forgotten pair of scissors and went back to work, creating otherworldly abominations.

Lan Zhan, "I doubt you'll die." 

Wei Ying, "I could."

An eye-roll at fidgeting fingers, twisting inwards and outwards in a visible demonstration of waning patience. He deftly braided his hair through nimble fingers though they're shaking with poorly managed anxiety. In the end, a few stray pieces fall out of place, but it's not like the prospect of messy doesn't suit him. Wei Wuxian has never been much of a tidy person. It's a little ironic he's rooming with Lan Zhan of all people the impeccable neat freak he is. Lan Zhan works on a timetable, and Wei Ying works based on whether or not he's eaten a meal in the last twenty-four hours.

Does Wei Ying suppose that's a side effect of having ADHD? He's not too sure, but then again, is anyone ever genuinely sure of themselves? Except maybe Lan Huan. He takes that back because he's seen the elder Lan hesitate to use a public restroom before. He gets queasy about that sort of thing; it's rather funny.

A warm hand covered his own snapping him out of reverie only to find he'd picked at the skin around his fingernails until it bled. Lan Zhan's eyes bore into Wei Ying's skull. He flinched involuntarily. 

" Oops, haha…" Not a laughable moment, but his nerves always had gotten the better of him when it came to correcting bad habits. Wei Ying  _ is  _ a bad habit only when he's honest about it. 

" No oops." Lan Zhan's tone is reproachful lifting Wei Ying's left hand to inspect the crescent-shaped tears, dotting the outer lines of his nails. Wordlessly he plucked a tissue from the box proceeding to gently wrap each finger, stopping the lazy drip of pooling blood gathering atop the coffee table. Wei Ying is mesmerized by his careful motions. Always so thoughtful!

" Damn, you're good at that." His forehead hit the table once more with a sigh, hand still suspended in Lan Zhan's tightening grip." What?" The man in question responded like he doesn't know he's  _ the  _ most handsome person on the earth and that Wei Ying would like nothing more than to just kiss the ever-loving fuck out of him." You know. Caring for people and shit." 

Lan Zhan puffed a laugh." And shit." He intoned mostly to himself with mirth. Wei Ying's face went red as he swatted his best friend on the shoulder in uncapped horror." You know what I meant, shut up!" 

Instead of acknowledging this, Lan Zhan said instead," you're wrinkling your suit." Which, in turn, caused Wei Ying to shoot up unexpectedly in surprise." Maybe I am." He sulked, gazing mournfully over at the paper massacre before him. 

Arms crossed is how Nie Huaisang found him, looking way too pretty for a  _ practice wedding,  _ rather than the actual event. He laughs at the sight of World War 3: the papering laid out before them full spread in its ugliest glory. Who's the idea was it to give Wei Wuxian a pair of scissors anyhow? He's  _ not _ lived up to his chaotic bisexual reputation, and he isn't about to stop, the catalyst being their first year of primary school together when he set a fire using only the beginner's chemistry kit that wasn't even supposed to be anywhere near flammable.

"What's with the ruins over here?" A paper ball hit the side of Nie Huaisang's skull with a resounding thump. He gasped scandalized. "I just asked a question, wow, the level of disrespect I get."

Wei Ying, "And there'll be more where that came from if you don't shut the f- shut up." Lan Zhan pointedly tugged on a strand of his hair as if to say 'no cussing' a rule he'd begun to strictly enforce after last week's incident involving a four-year-old and some very foul words. The turnout hadn't any success in calming down one furious mother.

"Whatever. Let's go see your sister get married to your arch enemy." Nie Huaisang dodged another paper onslaught this time with practiced ease. He ran out of the room, laughing. 

"Oh my god," Wei Ying said for maybe the three-hundred and forty-second time that week. "I can't believe she's going to marry  _ him. _ If anything happens between them, I swear to God I'm going to beat the shit out of him don't hold me back, Lan Zhan, I will have my vengeance." A wail. "We have to be  _ brothers."  _ For JieJie, he would do anything, even if it means being relatives with a literal peacock.

Used to the theatrics, Lan Zhan let him whine.

* * *

  
  


The car ride is filled with casual chatter, everything under the sun from how it hasn't rained in several weeks to alternate dimensions." You're probably jailed in one of them." Nie Huaisang gleefully remarked to Wei Wuxian, who, in turn, filled the car with playful shouts of indignance.

Even Lan Zhan offered an occasional input or two.

Wei Ying's nerves had begun to get the best of him the closer they came to the venue, picking at the sleeves of his suit in an aimless effort to stim. 

" You would think you're the one getting married," Wei Ying doesn't miss the way Nie Huaisang glanced in Lan Zhan's direction before raising his eyebrows suggestively, and he thought for a moment that they might never reach the venue because Wei Ying will kill his second-best friend.

Thankfully Lan Zhan didn't notice. If he did, there wasn't a single bit of acknowledgment. 

" Can't help it!" Wei Ying whined." Jiejie is getting  _ married!  _ My darling dear older sister— to  _ that." It's _ no secret that Jin Zixuan and Wei Ying had fistfought on more than one occasion, often leading to the interference of whoever knew them. The only thing keeping them civil continued to be Jiang Yanli— soon to be Jin Yanli. 

" You'll get over it." Singsonged Nie Huaisang was unaware of how near he was to die. Wei Ying merely sulked in reply, arms crossed once more. The rest of the trip passed in relative silence, Wei Ying distracted by the outside sights, slow-soft inside music filling in the blanks as it quietly played.

The first person to greet them is Jiang Fengman dressed in an expensive tuxedo, the buttons suspiciously looking like real gold. Wei Ying wouldn't be surprised if they were." Uncle." He greeted amicably as the elder inclined his head toward their merry group of three.

" Hello Wei Ying," There was a trace of a smile that danced across his lips before settling into a softer, sterner expression. One he often wore. 

" Jiejie's busy?" An inquiry.

A nod." You'll see her during rehearsal." Wei Ying fist-pumped in excitement as if they weren't on the steps of a modest outdoor garden, and Lan Zhan wasn't giving him one of those fond smiles, shaking his head before giving a soft," hello" of his own. 

Nie Huaisang gave another one of his knowing looks that once more was ignored.

The inside of the central garden spared no expense, and although Jiejie deserves only the best life can offer, Wei Ying has a feeling she hadn't much of a choice when it came to matters of festivity decor. The place looks far too traditional. Red pinpointing every focal point of the venue, lanterns strung across the entirety of the gates, the draperies, and the large gazebos. Hundreds he could guess. 

The tasteful red and gold decor has Madame Yu written all over it. Nothing but the finest for her only daughter.

The hard part has yet to come. Though the first obstacle is Madame Yu herself, looking between Lan Zhan and himself before letting out a nasty little sigh and barely acknowledging Wei Ying in favor of sudden arrangements. For one, he's somewhat relieved she found something to do outside of criticism. 

And then the devil himself arrived. He was dressed to kill in one undoubtedly  _ expensive,  _ specially tailored suit. God— Wei Ying hated his fucking face; he's never looked more like a peacock than now with a traditional red, colored beading in spatters. He was marrying  _ Wei Ying's  _ older sister. Wei Ying is grief-stricken. If anything, it's a terrible-wonderful kind of day. He can't keep his face straight, not when Jin Zixuan is standing there looking oh so smug—

" Wei Wuxian." He says.

"  _ Fucker."  _ is what Wei Ying wants to say, but instead, he settles with an even point," Jin Zixuan." The tension is simmering because Lan Zhan suddenly laced their hands together, shocking both Wei Ying and Jim Zixuan out of their deadly staring match. 

Wei Ying's face goes red," I'm not going to  _ fight  _ him, Lan Zhan." Spoken with some skepticism, he turns to see the man himself not the slightest bit bothered, weaving his fingers between Wei Ying's own. A cough, and he seemed to remember Jin Zixuan is still here, witnessing a miracle of a lifetime. God.

" Congratulations." Wei Ying says a little too fast. Jin Zixuan looked between the two and said in his most grave voice," you too." 

Wei Ying is going to  _ kill him. _

" What's that supposed to mean?!" Jin Zixuan opens his mouth to explain, probably something stupid when Wei Ying mouths' shut the fuck up' face turned so Lan Zhan can't see. His mouth clamped shut. 

"You have a foul-mouth good to know some things never change." Jin Zixuan smirked, moving past and pretending Wei Ying was not about to go for his ankles. He totally would if it weren't for the fact this is Jiejie's wedding. 

" Congratulations?" Lan Zhan said, curiosity plain on his face. 

Wei Ying panicked," I'll tell you later!" Off he booked it to the rehearsal, dragging a confused Lan Zhan behind him.

* * *

  
  


Jiang Cheng is sick. He is so fucking sick and tired— tired of their little waltz. The dancing around each other has been  _ years,  _ and they finally walk hand in hand, and it turns out the boneheads are still at square one.

He hates them both. 

" Did you say it?" He whispers to his brother, watching Lan Wangji as he makes small talk with their Jiejie over by one of the many patches of peonies. His mouth cocked into a little half-smile that has Wei Ying completely smitten, only when Jiang Cheng speaks does he startle from where he was so obviously staring." Say what?" He's still half distracted by the traces of a smile on Lan Zhan's face.

" Did you tell Lan Wangji you're in love with him?" Wei Ying chokes.

" WHAT?" He whisper-yelled, leaning much too far, lengthwise over the table to be safe. Jiang Cheng pushes him away by his face with a snort." Are you stupid?" He says knowing Wei Wuxian is foolish if he doesn't know anyone within a three hundred mile radius can tell he's head over heels for the second Lan. 

  
  


" I mean," Wei Ying sputters for a moment then dies inside." No," He admits." I don't even know if he likes  _ me."  _

Jiang Cheng is either going to kill them or himself, dear fucking God; someone gives him the strength to move on. He's so tired of this gay shitshow." Hurry it up then. You fucks are always making moon-eyes at one another, just get on with it."

Wei Ying," We do  _ not—" _

Jiang Cheng," Sick of it, do you hear me?"

Wei Ying sticks out his tongue at him. Jiang Cheng does it right back. They're two seconds from physical disaster when Jijie and Lan Zhan approach." Are you two fighting again?" Jiejie says with a tone of disapproval.

" No." They chime in unison.

Lan Zhan doesn't believe them." Well, we'll be here again tomorrow! Bright and early!" Jiejie says, stars in her eyes and a pretty flush in her cheeks. Daresay, she looks radiant as she should. Even if it's for a bastard." Thank you for showing up also if it's just practice, it means a lot to me.

The whole group is instantly besotted.

" Of course, we would." Jiang Cheng is the first to speak for the lot of them." Who would we be to miss an occasion as important as Jieje's wedding? Right, Wei Wuxian?" For once, speechless Wei Ying nods so ferociously his head might as well pop off and roll to the floor.

" Congratulations, big sis." 

Wei Ying is restless; he excuses himself at some point during their merely gathering to enter the empty reception set up in the courtyard, thinking hard. 

Jiang Cheng's words always manage to get to him in a way that has him squirming and thinking, thinking so hard he works himself into a frenzy and just can't calm down. Does this mean Lan Zhan likes him back? It's silly really how nearly impossible the notion is. His heart aches a little.

Wei Ying leans back in one of the empty chairs, feet up against the unclothed table, fist settled beneath his chin in a mock thinking pose but very much due to the feeling against his neck. He leans back without thinking, back and forth in a slow, gentle tandem. Best to get the jittery feelings out while no one else is around.

Madame Yu never could stand the habits he'd picked up, how he could never sit still. That had always been one of his most significant challenges growing up, explaining how he  _ had  _ to move to think. The printout paper doodles in between margins, clicking the pen open and shut just to hear it's crisp noise. Little habits she could not stand. 

" Wei Ying," 

He startles from his thoughts to find Lan Zhan taking the spot next to him, sitting properly instead of his feet hiked up on the table, inclined forward ever so slightly as if waiting for him to speak.

He says," Yeah?"

" What are you doing?"

" Mm," Wei Ying doesn't know entirely. Supposing being honest couldn't hurt this one time," just thinking is all."

Lan Zhan's expression doesn't change. Wei Ying knows he's secretly worried; his eyes betray what lies beneath his calm exterior. They always have even when they were kids fighting and teasing." About?"

" Have you ever loved someone romantically?" Wei Ying couldn't help himself even if he'd like any inclination of dos and don't. The words leave his traitorous mouth before anything else, leaving Lan Zhan surprised.

The way his eyes bore into his skull is uncomfortable, exciting the way their eyes meet as if sparks are flying between them in a melody only they can hear. Wei Ying's heart hammered in his chest, playing along to the tune of anxiety. He doesn't want to know; he has to know. It's the backbone of every back and forth between his better conscience and his thirst to understand how Lan Zhan feels. How he's felt. How he will feel—

" Yes." Oh.  _ Oh. _ Wei Ying released a breath he didn't know he was holding. Then Lan Zhan says," Do you?" 

He doesn't need to think. The words slip out all their own." Yeah— you."  _ It can only be you. There's _ a dead silence between them, long enough for Wei Ying to come to his senses and gather the sight of a shell-shocked Lan Zhan before him. Time to start packing because there's no backtracking from this one. 

" I should go." The moment he stands, there's a pressure on his forearm, and suddenly Wei Ying is falling. Falling into Lan Zhan's lap unable to think as the man in question cradles his face like he's something to be coveted. Fingers are gently curving across his jawline in a tender display of affection. 

Wei Ying can't remember how to breathe. Part of him still wants to run, to forget he'd uttered a word more of prayer if questioned. Lan Zhan is looking at him with those eyes, the look he held for only those he loves most. Rabbits, Lan Huan, the Guqin— hope stutters inside his chest, flaring to life in orange-pink gossamer swirls. Say something, please, speak.

Fingers trace the outer edges of his cheeks, traveling the length of his hair— sinking fingers in glossy black strands, stroking. They stay like that for a moment in the bare silence of an empty reception hall; not a soul save for themselves an unbreakable vow of reverence.

" Lan Zhan—" Wei Ying loses his words as they're swallowed by Lan Zhan's wanting mouth. Moving tenderly, conveying unspoken words in a daze of slow-moving kisses peppering his lips. Now he can't _ breathe,  _ Lan Zhan loves him. Sparks stutter and pop behind Wei Ying's eyelids. For a moment, his entire existence flickered like a broken record.

" Lan Zhan." He says between kisses," Lan Zhan." Wei Ying cups his face between his work-worn palms, warm to the touch, stopping an onslaught of kisses. He laughs, free and unyielding; grin spread from cheek to upturned cheek corners of his eyes crinkling." I love you." He declares earnestly unhindered by the fear of rejection that Lan Zhan could never love him back. But now Wei Ying knows a story so different he could cry.

Working his fingers between the one's holding either side of his face, Lan Zhan leans forward, pressing the barest kiss to his smiling lips." I love you too." He says it, and he means it. Wei Ying throws himself into another, deeper kiss. 

" I can't believe this is real." Lan Zhan is pressing butterfly kisses into his neck, Wei Ying fit snugly in his lap as he belonged there and nowhere else." Does Lan Zhan like me? Pinch me— wait, don't, I don't want to wake up!" He chatters away while Lan Zhan trails up his neck, cheeks, nose, soft and chaste kisses that go straight to Wei Ying's heart. He pulls a lock of his boyfriend—  _ his boyfriend's— _ hair. He was pecking a quick kiss to his forehead. 

" Wait, wait, wait." He shoves his hands against Lan Zhan's face, eliciting a noise of displeasure." This means we're dating, right? For real as in not just for the wedding?" He receives a flat, unimpressed look for his troubles.

" Mn," Lan Zhan agrees, diving right back in. The time for talking over, tasting Wei Ying again and again until his cheeks flushed, and his head went dizzy. Until Jiang Cheng finds them and screams at them for making out in the reception area, the indecency of it all. 

In the end, Jiejie congratulates them," So it'll be your wedding. Next, I presume?"

Wei Ying nearly dies on the spot and Lan Zhan— he simply laughs.

  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> good morning mdzs fandom please take this or u will be held hostage by bobblehead a-yuan


End file.
